(Can't Read My) Waffle Face

Dearest Gaga,
I could tell you that even though I’m gay, that I’d RIDE your disco stick any day.
I could tell you that I’ve written a nine-page article for my school’s newspaper about you.  I could tell you that it had to be cut down, and that I threw a fit as I spent a good ten hours total crafting that article.
I could tell you that I know the legitimate choreography for “Bad Romance,” “Telephone,” “Alejandro,” “Born This Way,” and “Judas,” and that I perform these in public literally EVERY single time an opportunity presents itself.
I could tell you that I recreated your “Let’s make a sandwich!” outfit from “Telephone.”  I could tell you that making Fred Butler’s blue telephone hat took me over eight straight hours to make perfect, and that Rachael Barrett’s silicone dress doesn’t look quite the same made from a shower curtain.  I could tell you that I have found several opportunities to wear this outfit—at The Monster Ball, at Pride, and at every anime convention I’ve gone to in the last year.
I could tell you that almost everything I post is about you.  I could tell you that my friends get annoyed with me because almost everything I talk about involves you in some way.
I could tell you that you’ve saved me from the world, that you’ve saved me from myself, that I listen to your music every single day, that you inspire me, that you ARE the queen.
What I could never truly tell you is just how much I love you, and how much you mean to me.  The limitations of language allow me no way to express how I feel about you, Gaga.  I can’t even imagine existing in a world without you.  Thank you so much for being there for me.
When you say that you sometimes wake up not feeling like a superstar, not feeling like a good enough person, it breaks my heart because of how much you’ve done for just me.  You should never ever feel worthless or not confident because you are an incredible, wonderful human being.  You have done so much for me alone, that I cannot even fathom the true impact that you’ve had on your millions of fans.
I’ve wanted to meet you since “The Fame” not so I could take a picture with you, not so you could sign my plethora of Gaga merchandise, but so I could tell you how much I love and care about you.  You’ve made me the strong and confident free bitch that I am today.
Thank you, Mother Monster. <3  (I <3 Lady Gay Gay.)

Dearest Gaga,

I could tell you that even though I’m gay, that I’d RIDE your disco stick any day.

I could tell you that I’ve written a nine-page article for my school’s newspaper about you.  I could tell you that it had to be cut down, and that I threw a fit as I spent a good ten hours total crafting that article.

I could tell you that I know the legitimate choreography for “Bad Romance,” “Telephone,” “Alejandro,” “Born This Way,” and “Judas,” and that I perform these in public literally EVERY single time an opportunity presents itself.

I could tell you that I recreated your “Let’s make a sandwich!” outfit from “Telephone.”  I could tell you that making Fred Butler’s blue telephone hat took me over eight straight hours to make perfect, and that Rachael Barrett’s silicone dress doesn’t look quite the same made from a shower curtain.  I could tell you that I have found several opportunities to wear this outfit—at The Monster Ball, at Pride, and at every anime convention I’ve gone to in the last year.

I could tell you that almost everything I post is about you.  I could tell you that my friends get annoyed with me because almost everything I talk about involves you in some way.

I could tell you that you’ve saved me from the world, that you’ve saved me from myself, that I listen to your music every single day, that you inspire me, that you ARE the queen.

What I could never truly tell you is just how much I love you, and how much you mean to me.  The limitations of language allow me no way to express how I feel about you, Gaga.  I can’t even imagine existing in a world without you.  Thank you so much for being there for me.

When you say that you sometimes wake up not feeling like a superstar, not feeling like a good enough person, it breaks my heart because of how much you’ve done for just me.  You should never ever feel worthless or not confident because you are an incredible, wonderful human being.  You have done so much for me alone, that I cannot even fathom the true impact that you’ve had on your millions of fans.

I’ve wanted to meet you since “The Fame” not so I could take a picture with you, not so you could sign my plethora of Gaga merchandise, but so I could tell you how much I love and care about you.  You’ve made me the strong and confident free bitch that I am today.

Thank you, Mother Monster. <3  (I <3 Lady Gay Gay.)

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